OMG was i too blunt!

Obscene night before xmas

I didn’t write this but it’s gold

T’was the night before Christmas
And all through the house,
Everybody felt shitty
Even the mouse.

Mum at the whorehouse
And Dad smoking Grass,
I’d just settled down
For a nice piece of ass.

When out on the lawn
I heard such a clatter,
I sprung from my peice
To see what was the matter.

Then out on the lawn
I saw a big dick,
I know in a moment
It must be Saint Nick.

He came down the chimney
Like a bat out of hell,
I knew in a moment
The fucker had fell.

He filled all our stockings
With pretzels and beer,
And a big rubber dick
For my brother, The Queer.

He rose up the chimney
With a thunderous fart,
The son of a bitch
Blew the chimney apart.

He swore and he cursed
As he rode out of sight,
Piss on you all
And have a hell of a night